It all started when I was left with no choice by my doctor’s in West Palm Beach but to go into labor naturally by 40 weeks or to have a forced scheduled c section because my 1st baby was a c section 16 years ago. I have had 2 successful hospital vbacs since then which is why I had no choice but to decide against everyone, even Shane, the baby’s father, to have a home birth Google style. I in no way possible could sign myself up for a surgery I knew I didn’t need. Beside that my experience with c section was horrific and I was not ever gonna go through that again if I could help it. Basically this was an over-my-dead-body kinda decision. I knew with no doubt that I could do this at home alone, screw everyone who was mad at me, I got this.
So I started researching and I came across home birth with midwives and unassisted home births on youtube and I finally felt relief that I had found the answers I was looking for. Not only am I not crazy as everyone thought I was but there is a whole world dedicated to having babies at home. What!!?? Really!?! A midwife and doula whats that!!?? How could I have not thought of this before for my other kids. The reason is simple I was brainwashed by society to think that doctors make all of my medical decisions for me and i was tricked into thinking all babies are born in hospitals.
After pissing everyone off with my decision I decided to look into local midwives and boom all of a sudden I see Mary Rainer’s Facebook I’m like what I love facebook so I started stalking her page and pictures. I finally got the nerve to call and ask a few insurance questions and I got great answers. I quickly set up a meeting to see if I could make this all work out and have a professional present for my home birth as I was a little worried about giving birth at home alone. The day came it all sounded amazing and she said I was a good candidate for home birth.
But I had a few obstacles almost stop me from having Mary as my midwife. The most important one was the fact that my doctor’s in WPB determined I was diabetic and with that Mary was not able to accept me as as patient. So I explained to Mary the whole story about not fasting and she said that we should redo the test because I felt that the dr was very wrong because I felt great and I even told them I had to eat something before my appt because the appt was at 3pm to take the glucose test at Quest.
The doctor went as far to tell me that my numbers were bad and that I have genestational diabetes, so I redo the 3 hour test and I passed it with good numbers. Now my problem was coming up with out of pocket expenses and switching my insurance to one that covers home birth and I was kinda depressed and gave up on having a midwife. I ordered a medical home birthing kit because I was gonna face this alone with my boyfriend, best friend and mother at home.
We were down to 4 more weeks and I came across a local facebook page speaking of vbacs and I was asking some questions because I found out Lawnwood Hospital has a hospitalist who does vbacs as walk ins and this lady that I don’t remember her name at all wrote me a private message urging me to try and get and midwife and to not do an unassisted home birth. She recommended Midwife Mary saying how great she was and I told her I decided to go it alone because so many things kept me from being able to hire Mary and she said to just go talk to Mary and see how we could work it all out.
I had not yet actually gotten my diabetes results yet but when I did hear I passed I called Mary and told her my numbers it was amazing because everything just fell into place after that and Mary was my midwife!!! To add a tidbit I found out my 1st test numbers were not diabetic but that one of three sets of numbers was only a borderline level result number. Yes I was pissed because that’s not what the WPB doctor told me, she clearly said I failed and it was not good. LIAR!
Bing bam boom the 4 weeks fly by and I had already gotten the boyfriend on board with the home birth after he did his own research about it and tho he was afraid probably more like terrified. I think he just prayed for the best because this Momma was not backing down. My due date came and went. Bye bye Nov 4th frown emoticon at this point the WPB doctor would have already done my c section because they refused to allow me to pass 40 weeks because of my previous c section and the fake diabetes.
Then on Nov 7th around 11:30pm the contractions started but hey nothing new I’ve been having them for months now. I went through the whole night with medium cramp like contractions as Shane slept. I still hadn’t lost my plug so I was not thinking I was in real labor at all. But come 7AM life got really real and the contractions had me a bit vocal. Shane half azz woke up and started timing my contractions and after the 3rd one they were all a few mins apart he jumped up and got into motion setting the pool up, sweeping and whatever else to prepare. I was in our bed trying to deal with this pain with each contraction the pain got turned up so I was pretty vocal moaning in bed.
After about 15 mins of that I jumped into the hot shower thinking yup this will fix my pain because it had always seem to work out all of my prego aches and pains. Well not in this case, at this point, I finally realized I was in true active labor and it was time to have Shane call Midwife Mary.
I got out of the shower because the pain was too much and Mary needed to hear me go through a contraction and she said she was on her way and gonna send Margo who lives close by to get here because she was gonna be about 15 mins away and she wanted someone here with me incase the baby came fast. Not even 5 mins later Margo was at my door. At this point I was in my night gown balled up on our huge round spinning couch chair trying to get through each contraction.
Margo checked the baby’s heartbeat and he was perfectly fine. Another knock at the door and it was Midwife Mary with all of her equipment and knowledge. We went into our room and when she checked me I was 7.5 centimeters dilated. Woot Woot almost ready!! The pain was pretty bleeping bad. Mary suggested I get into the pool but by that point I wanted nothing but the pain to go away, I didn’t want no pool I just wanted the pain to stop. Lol
Once I got into the pool all I wanted was to undo my home birth decision and magically get an epidural. I knew it was too late but still chose to scream “I can’t do this” a million times as I was half out of the pool with my arms and whole upper body wrapped around Shane who was sitting on a step stool right next to the pool. He said to me “Baby you can do this, our baby is almost here” and my reply was “please don’t talk about the baby, I don’t wanna hear anything about a baby don’t say that again.”
Lol I was a mess and about to really panic as I was feeling the baby’s head come out. I was yelling like a mad fool in pain and then I heard Mary telling me something and clear as day I heard her say that I needed to calm down and listen to my body.
That’s when I got my head back on straight and I started to focus on how it felt when I pushed and when I say that I mean not the pain but trying to feel where in my crotch his head was and how I needed to push to get his head out. I was still vocal but I was focused on progressing and not the pain.
I got his head pushed out and I could feel myself around his neck so I pushed him one last hard push to get his shoulders out and just like that he darted out into the water and when I picked him up out of the water it was love at 1st sight I knew he was mine and I had finally got to lay my eyes on this little creation that had put me through a lot to get to this happy point.
The pain was over and the look on Shane’s face was priceless. I realize he had probably instantly falling in love with our precious son just as i did. The moment was amazing and since I’m not a mushy girl and I never tell people my feelings, I want to take this opportunity in my story to tell Shane that I seen the most purest love pour out all over your face for our son and I that it melted a large part of my frozen heart. I had this crazy hot feeling inside of holy bleep I really did hit the happiness motherland of an amazing man and father. I love you Baby, you’re my ROCK and I need you to never ever forget that!!!
The rest was cake even tho I still whined about the pitocin shot in the leg muscle because I hate needles.
I know at some point Hailey arrived and her my mom and Margo were capturing our beautiful picture and video memories. Margo was amazing with my placenta’s presentation, tho it was kinda gross. Lol in the end I learned a lot but the most important thing I learned was that I could not have done this alone as I had thought. I 100% needed Shane and Mary to make me feel like one beast of a momma to get through the birth of my son.
I never used any of my pain relief ideas like distracting myself on my phone, music, dim lights, a view of outside and it never even crossed my mind to call my best friend to come to the home birth. I totally lost focus through the pain but I wouldn’t change anything except for the lil tiny floater in the pool.
To Mary and Hailey, THANK YOU for seeing me through this and not giving up on my last minute transfer to being in your care.
I would recommend anyone who is having a baby and wants a midwife to go through Birth Bloosom because not only do you get the best health care but you get the feeling of family and she may even leave you her ring in your driveway because she will be in a rush to get into your house for your baby’s birthday. Lol XOXO
Ps. It felt amazing firing my old doctor and calling the lying doctor out. 🙂 my numbers were never that of a true diabetic. Borderline means just that borderline!! I guess she didn’t learn that in medical school or she just wanted me to have a c section and hope I didn’t resist her recommendation.
It’s never too late to take control of your own healthcare. Keep your eyes wide open!!!!!!
Roman Carter White
7lbs 2oz 18 3/4 8:58AM