I had hours and hours of false labor contractions for weeks, but had no other obvious labor signs and nothing ever turned into anything productive, so when I woke up yet again that morning at 1:10am from more painful contractions, I didn’t want to wake my husband Marc up for yet another false alarm. So I labored on my own til he woke up at 3:30, right at the same time that the contractions started getting so intense that I was literally growling through them.
He got up and we agreed that he’d still get ready for work, while keeping up with how frequent and intense my contractions were. They were getting so extremely intense but not lasting very long so we still weren’t sure. We went back and forth about if he should call in to work or not, but by 5am the contractions/surges had me on all fours on the floor trying to cope, so he decided to stay, if only to help me through them. 💛
So he did, and I let our midwife know that things were getting amazingly intense. She was used to our false alarms, but she respected my urgency and she headed right over and called her partner to as well. During that time I could not find any relief in any position, so I asked Marc to start filling up the birth pool. I still wasn’t sure if it was just another false alarm or not but I didn’t care anymore, I just wanted relief in the warm water.
He was awesome and made it happen asap. As soon as I was in the water, I went somewhere deep within myself. I was completely silent through the contractions, could only whisper to communicate, and I followed my instincts for when and how I needed to move, breathe, and cope. I felt almost animalistic but I didn’t care. I was in instinctive mama nature mode.
Our midwives got there and didn’t rush me, didn’t check me, didn’t order me to do anything at all, they just read my body cues and started setting themselves and their supplies up. They, and Marc, were so respectful of what I was going through, they brought me what I asked for and removed what I didn’t. They gave me full control and that was so empowering. I was in so much intensity but I appreciated their loving energy and support. It was only a few minutes after the midwives got there that I had the overwhelming urge to start pushing. I was really happy that when they heard me groaning and pushing, nobody told me to stop or wait like the nurses and doctors did when I had my hospital births. They just completely respected my intuition. It was seriously so empowering!! I followed the urges to push during each surge, and got completely lost in my intuition. The intensity went away in between surges, thank goodness, and gave me a break to drink some water and breathe before the next one.
It literally wasn’t until I felt her head coming that I fully believed I was actually in real labor finally!! I had kept my hand on my perineum the entire time, without even realizing it. I just had to have that counter pressure. But when my pushing got very productive, Marc and I reached down and felt her head come out together! He had this look of absolute shock and amazement, and he told me “Babe!! That’s our baby’s head!!!” But at that point I had a moment of overwhelming intensity and I didn’t want to push anymore.
Everyone encouraged me very calmly and matter of fact, that that was the only way to get the baby out. So I (very bravely, in my opinion, lol) put everything I had into pushing her body out, and then, there she was!- all purple and squishy, born into both mine and Marc’s hands. 💛💛💛💛 We held her together, then he passed her to me to hold. The look on his face in that moment was the best thing I have ever seen in my life. 😍 The shock, the amazement, the joy, the pride, the love. 💛💛💛
I was just so relieved to have her out. So happy that it went so well. So so thankful that we got to have that experience together. And soo thankful to never ever have to birth another human again after this, lol (baby #6 and last for our family). I was very sore and exhausted.
So I was all relieved that it was over, but I forgot that I still had to push out the darn placenta. I was so not in the mood, but I went ahead and gave one last push to get it out and get that task out of the way. I was so. exhausted. and sore. if I hadn’t mentioned that.
I wanted to go lay down, so I handed the squishy purple nugget to Marc and he was just about to explode with happiness. Our midwives helped me into bed while he bonded with baby girl. They took some absolutely priceless pictures of the process for us. I am very thankful to have them.
When I was situated in bed, I got to snuggle baby again while Marc cut the umbilical cord. Then the midwives did Hope’s physical exam (She was perfect!) and let Marc weigh her. He was so freaking cute and radiating pure joy. He was like a kid in a candy store, on Christmas morning. 😍 I love that we got to do this together. We have this bond, these memories, this deeper amazement and adoration for one another. 💛 This is everything we hoped it would be. And now we forever have our Hope. 😍😍😍💛
